Update: The Bacon Saga

I hauled ass after work on Friday to get to the specialty store to buy some Baconnaise. This store has a billion things i would love to own but i went in with a focused mind, determined not to be distracted by all the cooking and baking specialty items that would certainly make my life SOOO much better. I browsed every aisle and shelf and wasn't able to find any baconnaise. I did come across tomato paste in a tube whick KT has been searching for, so i grabbed that. Note: It doesn't even count as a distracted purchase if it's a gift for someone else. After about 15 minutes i put my hrmph face on and hunted down a store employee. Let's replay the convo:

Me: Hi, can you please tell me where to find the baconnaise?
She replies ( in a snotty voice not befitting of my very nicely asked question), "The WHAT?!|
Me: "The Baconnaise", I say again, a bit more slowly with proper enunciation. "It's bacon mayo," I add helpfully.
"OHhhhhhh," she replies, "we don't carry that anymore, they were giving us product with short shelf life."

My draw drops and my eyes start to water and I ask if they are planning on getting more in the future because I'd been really looking forward to trying it and for it to change my life. My voice is getting louder and louder and  I sort of sound like I'm yelling at her. She responds that she doesn't know if they will be stocking it and tries to sell me lemmonaise- it's lemon, it's mayo... it's baconless! I politely decline and head up to the till to buy the tomato paste in a tube. When I get to the till she points out a Dark Bacon Chocolate Bar for sale. Without a moments hesitation and an internally muttered DUH, I grab one. The bill comes to around $13. I think to myself, wow that tomato paste is pricey!

I text message Alanna to let her know I am bringing a fun surprise but that, unfortunately, it's not bacon mayo. I arrive at the cabin and whip out the dark bacon chocolate bar. Someone grabs it and flips it over to read the write up on the back and exclaims, " You paid TEN dollars for this!?" [insert embarrassed smiley face here] We read the rest of the write up and it is rather hilarious and very enticing. We are all giggling in anticipation. We rip open the packaging and I crack the bar into pieces.  One of the girls claims that it smells like beef jerky. Greeeeaaaaaaaat... We tentatively take bites and some make gag faces and others chew contemplatively. Safe to say there weren't a lot of yummy noises and if I had to throw a caption on the scene it would say EPIC FAIL. The bar wasn't horrible but it definitely wasn't a crowd pleaser. Pieces of the chocolate sat on a plate the whole weekend without disappearing... in a roomful of girls. I polished off them yesterday before I left to come home as I felt it was kind of my responsibility. Luckily, my homemade brownies with a layer of marshmallow and chocolate fudge icing were definitely a bigger hit and redeemingly necessary for my self confidence.

Get this though! Yesterday for lunch we had smokies. I was doing up my bun and boy oh boy was I pleasantly surprised to find the jar of bacon mayo had made it to the sauce table. This was the jar that started it all- hiding innocuosly in the cabin fridge, miding it's own business. I slathered my bun up with bacconaise and then threw on some bbq sauce and ketchup as well -I hate having to choose between my favorite sauces. I grabbed a smokie and topped it with some cheese, onions and tomatoes and set out to taste test. Unfortunately, I think I sauced too hard as I couldn't even distinguish the baconnaise in the mix. I had assigned a few otherBacconaise taste testers and, again, there weren't any overly yummy noises being made. I think this is where the baconnaise train stops and I get off. I have a feeling my arteries will thank me.

for the rest of the story click here to read the "it's bacon, it's mayo" blog.