Whilst Living Alone

I've picked up lots of skills and have learned many lessons whilst living alone.

***WARNING: These next three paragraphs are off topic, but i couldn't stop myself! This off topic rant kind of makes this blog a twofer, two topics in one blog! You should probably be excited! (I know you probably aren't which is why i keep ending each sentence in an exclamation mark!)

I was about to type "while" in my opening sentence but "whilst" ended up in my head and I couldn't resist using it even though i don't really know what it means. It has so much more oomph than its more common cousin "while". Let's find out if they are both correct. I wouldn't want to be making any grammatical mistakes, that would be embarrassing.

Wikipedia says: "While" is a word in the English language that functions both as a noun and as a subordinating conjunction. Its meaning varies largely based on its intended function, position in the phrase and even the writer or speaker's regional dialect. With exception to its form as a noun, it is synonymous with the word "whilst", a form considered archaic outside the United Kingdom.

The American Heritage Guide writes that, "while using whilst runs the risk of sounding pretentious, it can sometimes add a literary or ironically formal note to a piece of writing."

Ahhh HA! Exactly what i was looking for! I love running the risk of sounding pretentious. In fact, I strive for it. Even that last sentence with its "in fact" sounded pretentious! I can't stop myself if i tried. And why would i try? I think they were a bit strong in calling it archaic. I reckon old school would be a more fitting, less prejudicial term. Anyhow, let it be decreed that the word 'whilst' is OK in my books, and yours too, if you know what's good for you. End of Word Of The Day interlude.***

Let me begin again. I recently read a book called The Girl's Guide to Absolutely Everything. I call it the Bible. This book has everything a young woman needs to know about money, work, health, relationships and life in general. It covers off what to do if you forget someones name (i prefer the sneaky way- introducing them to someone else in order to get them to say their name again, that or stealing their wallet and checking their ID), how to properly clean your shower (naked, duh), how to combat Crying at work (work is about Facts, not Feelings!) and a million other things I am glad to know. It made me think of all the stuff i had to learn the hard way when i moved out on my own.

Don't get me wrong, living alone is fun. I don't have to share any of stuff with anyone. I can eat whatever i want, whenever i want. I sleep whenever i want, wherever i want (i like to get even wear on all my sleepable surfaces, so i often nap on my couch and sleep in my guest bedroom). I can decorate and redecorate as often as i like, however i like. I can listen to my music with my headphones in and not have to worry about someone sneaking up on me and scaring me half to death. The perks are endless! Unfortunately, so are the downfalls.

I quickly learned that pickle jars are Shelly-proof and that not having a Glenn around to open things makes life tricky. I've since taken to asking friends to open up any new jars when they come over so I don't have to struggle frustratedly to fill my garlic dill pickle craving.

In the home renovations department, I've learned that crying and stomping your feet is not effective when there is nobody around to hear you. But with the help of Google and Home Depot I've installed light fixtures, regrouted tile, refinished furniture, unclogged sinks and how and when to call a professional tradesman (or more often, Mommy & Daddy) to come fix my mess. Luckily, I have a particular knack for getting Good Looking Male Tradesmen to come to the rescue, which makes the whole Epic Fail thing bearable in the end.

I've learned to use a basket instead of a buggy at the grocery store, so that I only buy what I can carry in one trip. Anything more than a basket full is more than I need. I've done the trips where I go grocery-crazy and forget that rule (eg. every trip to Costco I've ever gone on). Then I'm faced with the task of figuring out how to get the groceries arranged on my hands, shoulders and arms in the least painful manner. Once i manage that I have to get them through one fire door with a key followed by a second fire door, four flights of stairs, another fire door and then my condo door which I always open to an Escaping Kitten who must be corralled before a Complaining Neighbour encounter occurs. Lesson Learned, only buy what you can carry...unless you're OK with making two trips (for the Record- I am not). Buggy equals bad. Cart equals crap.

I've learned that there's nobody to blame but yourself when:

• your clothes get ruined in the washer 
• the bills don't get paid
• your plants die
• the lid was left off the nail polish and it spilled all over the floor
• or you run out of milk and/or toilet paper

I've learned that responsibility is a bitch, but running out of TP is worse!