Feb 29 The Ladies' Privilege.

My lovely associate Wendy just asked if I was planning on proposing to 'any lucky guy' today. First of all, I don't think that would make him very lucky and second of all, what the heck? She went on to explain that on a leap year, on February 29th, women are encouraged to propose to the man of their choice.


This provoked a variety of facial expressions including a laugh out loud, followed by an eye roll and then was replaced my studious frowny face that I use when researching. Sometimes I feel so fresh in this world, not knowing things like this. Before delving into the subject, I wanted to know how many leap years I've lived through oblivious of these shenanigans. This handy website told me that I am 9265 days old and that I've only lived through 7 leap years, which may explain my ignorance in this matter. Let me share my findings:


Because leap years are seen as unusual events that disturb the otherwise orderly progression of days/months/years, certain beliefs have been attached to them. (One constant in the realm of folklore and superstition is that out-of-the-ordinary events are deemed to have out-of-the-ordinary consequences or properties.) Leap years, according to folk tradition, were the only times when women could propose marriage to men, with this belief often termed "The Ladies' Privilege." 

Another school of thought held that a man so entreated either had to accept the proposal or pay the refused woman a substantial forfeit for turning her down, such as a silk gown. Alternatively, if the proposal is rejected the man would buy the lady 12 pairs of gloves- the intention being that the woman can wear the gloves to hide the embarrassment of not having an engagement ring. -insert eye roll here-

Though everyone loves a good folktale, the beginning of this custom more likely has to do with February 29 being perceived as a day that does not properly belong on the calendar and thus as a period when the ordinary rules of conduct do not apply. Other superstitions play upon the underlying theme of "betwixt and between" times being occasions especially fraught with peril or periods when the unusual was not only allowed to occur, but was encouraged to do so.

In earlier days of Western society, relations between the sexes were far more formal and scripted, with each gender being expected to adhere to its assigned roles. When it came to proposing marriage, men did the asking and women did the accepting or declining — the other way around would have been unthinkable. Thus a leap year reversal of this ordinary state of things would be seen as something else being turned on its ear during a period when little else made sense anyway.

So there you have it. February 29th is a great day to show everyone you are crazy. Maybe I will propose to someone and hopefully they will say No and i will get a new dress out of it, or perhaps a dozen gloves.

Source: http://www.snopes.com/oldwives/february29.asp

 

thievery at its finest

This weekend, Daddydukes and I put on some black ski masks and robbed my sister blind. She has moved out of my parents house, but a lot of her stuff didn't make the trip with her. Not just odds and ends, but good quality, totally covet-able stuff. -insert thievery here-. Honestly, I think I've done her a favor by borrowing some of her things, as now she has less to go through when she finally decides to sort her remaining junk. And trust me, if there's anything left over it's junk. I took ALL the good stuff. Sunday night it all looked so daunting that i left it there to be tackled at a later time, hopefully with a buddy.

Monday morning started off poorly. Dead dog in the middle of the road during my drive to work, surely a bad omen. The second i made it to my desk the phone was ringing with a typical "Monday Morning Things Gone Wrong Because I Suck At My Job" call. Jacket still on, no coffee in my cup, computer still asleep from a long weekend of binge drinking (oh wait, that was me)- I did not deal with that call well. I tried to remind myself that work is about Facts, not Feelings and that crying doesn't solve anything, and was able to mull through my day somewhat successfully.

When it was time to go home, I decided to skip the gym (which I never do) and go straight home instead. Then I treated myself to a spa afternoon (thanks Jess for the idea). I face masked, clarified my scalp, deep conditioned my hair, painted my nails and then settled on the couch to read. Two minutes later I was asleep.

*knock knock knock* I go flying off the couch, heart beating a mile a minute and run to the door (I do not take being waken from sleeping very well). At the door, my neighbor and handy man extraordinaire, Cam, is there like a knight in shining armor, ready to save the day. Three seconds later I've put him to work setting up my TV. Ten minutes later we are snacking, with a pizza cooking in the oven, and watching Bourne Identity. My very first movie at my condo! Took two years to get there, but I did it. Insert cheering crowd noise here.

So thanks Lisa for your TV, I owe you big time (we will discuss terms at a later date), and to Glenn for helping me lug all my new goods over to the chalet, and to Cam for helping me set everything up. If anyone needs me they will find me on my couch staring at my new contraption.

valentinestastic.

Happy Valentine's Day!

 To celebrate, I baked a super duper batch of sugar cookies. I am always concerned when a recipe has less than half a dozen ingredients. How could something so delicious be so simple? Somehow this simple recipe ended up being a four hour project. Myself and my kitchen are covered head to toe (ceiling to floor) in flour, icing sugar and food coloring, which some (cough, katie) may find concerning, but i like to turn a blind eye to things like that...  I'd say the results are worth it. The cookies turned out adorable.  I tasted them to make sure they weren't poisonous and they are delicious. There's about 4 dozen, so if you'd like a cookie fix, come find me- I'll cookie you. xo shelly. 

 

The Night Circus

The Night Circus is a fantastic novel written by Erin Morgenstern. It is her debut novel.  I highly recommend you read it. It stretched my imagination, made me think anything is possible, it invaded my dreams and all the waking minutes in between. I thought it would be rude not to share my find. Here's a synopsis:


The circus arrives without warning. No announcements precede it. It is simply there, when yesterday it was not. Within the black-and-white striped canvas tents is an utterly unique experience full of breathtaking amazements. It is called Le Cirque des Rêves, and it is only open at night.
But behind the scenes, a fierce competition is underway—a duel between two young magicians, Celia and Marco, who have been trained since childhood expressly for this purpose by their mercurial instructors. Unbeknownst to them, this is a game in which only one can be left standing, and the circus is but the stage for a remarkable battle of imagination and will. Despite themselves, however, Celia and Marco tumble headfirst into love—a deep, magical love that makes the lights flicker

and the room grow warm whenever they so much as brush hands.
True love or not, the game must play out, and the fates of everyone involved, from the cast of extraordinary circus per­formers to the patrons, hang in the balance, suspended as precariously as the daring acrobats overhead.


I went to Erin Morgenstern's website and discovered she posts a short story every week (Flax-Golden Tales). I read a whole bunch of them and they are all fantastical, she tells a mean story that girl. She describes herself as a "writer, painter & keeper of cats", lol what a quirkball. This one delighted me...

waiting for the light

I moved my chair so I can see the lamppost through the window.
I know I would probably be able to see the light from anywhere in the room if the lamp were lit, but I like having a direct view. It makes me feel more secure, somehow, to be able to glance up from a book and see it, stalwart. Still dark.
It’s really quite clever, a lamp that only lights when you’re near.
Now I can’t stop checking it, even though it’s been dark for so long.
If it turns on again, I don’t want to miss it.
In case someday, somehow, you come back.
I’ll have a warning.
I just hope it will give me enough time to run.

A Case of the Grumps

The Michelle Health Organization (MHO for short) reports that there's been a case of the grumps going around lately. This organization, which is neither very organized nor very healthy, would like to help you diagnose yourself. Not sure if you are suffering from the grumps? Here's a few things that might be a tip off:

• People leave the room when you walk in because they dread being around you and your bad attitude (badittude, if you will).
• You spend extended periods of time wallowing in self-loathing and, alternatively, self-pity.
• The usual good mood-inspiring things do not even bring a semi smile to your face. An adorable puppy in a cute outfit makes you roll your eyes instead of the normal giggle and clap.
• Even eating delicious treats do not make you happy.

Now, drinking excessively may seem like a good idea to dull the pain of your grumptastic mood, but it will not help. Let me repeat: Do Not try to drink the grumps away. It is cause for disaster and you will then be hungover AND grumpy. Please do not fret though, I have some helpful suggestions (that worked for me) to bring you back to Happy Land.

1. You need to go overboard on the things that make you happy. For me, it's baking. This weekend I baked a batch of deliciously low fat cookies, chocolate mousse (not technically baking, but still counts) and mini chocolate cupcakes with peppermint chocolate icing. The delicious end results, combined with the pleasure it brought to those who devoured the treats nearly pulled me out my funk. [see below for photos]
2. Exercise. Again, I suggest going overboard. Get out and work your butt off doing whatever it is you do to stay in shape. Yesterday I spent an hour at the gym and then hit the track with my iPod on the loudest it could go. By the time I was done, I was so frozen, deaf, hungry and tired that I had no room to be grumpy. Pure bliss.
3. Shopping therapy. Simple. Go out and buy things. You don't need to spend a million dollars, feel free to hit the dollar store, walmart or even go to the grocery store and hit the bulk bins real hard. Don't get me wrong, if you have the money and the inclination to make a big purchase, by all means do so. A new TV or car would certainly make your grumps disappear twice or even three times as fast.
4. Go tanning. I hear the WHO (world health organisation- who is actually a real organisation, unlike the MHO) declared tanning a carcinogenic, so maybe this option isn't for everyone...but if you aren't opposed to tanning and your skin could use some colour- jump on in to your nearest cancer box. Not only will you feel better because you will look prettier- you will feel better from that dose of vitamin D that you can only get from the sun, which we probably won't seeing much of for the next few months.
5. If you have completed suggestions 1-4 and are still feeling down then you have no choice but to go to Disney Land. It is the happiest place on earth. If a dose of the magic kingdom, mickey mouse and frozen lemonade can't cure you then you are pretty much out of luck. You can try repeating the above steps, perhaps in reverse order, but unfortunately and most likely, you will need to move onto #5.
6. Strong meds are officially in order. Prozak or some other anti-depressant. It will make you feel like you are living your life in a hazy cloud, not to mention the long list of negative side effects, but hey, it will likely kill the grumps. Murder at its finest. Visit a doctor near you for treatment.

Wishing you all a grump-free afternoon. Good day to you.

stoopid questions

There's no such thing as a stupid question...right? Wrong! There is. Maybe not stupid, but definitely unnecessary. A Waste of Breath Question, if you will. Really there are only two that I can think of that make it impossible for me not to roll my eyes with a look of pure disdain on my face. Maybe that makes me a bad person. I don't really care. If you are asking either of the questions below, I think you are a bad person- and that makes us evenly bad people.

I'm not trying to make anyone feel stupid. I am here to help. Hopefully after reading this you will think twice before asking either one of these questions.

Stupid Question 1.
Scenario: You're in some one's kitchen and have garbage to throw away.
Dummy: Where's your garbage?
Average Person: Under the sink.

Seriously when someone asks this, I think they should immediately be put in a Time Out to think about what they've said. The garbage is under the sink. It can get a bit tricky- it might be on the left side or maybe it's on the right. You will have to take a gamble and choose a side. If you're not a gambling man let me help you- try the right side. If you open it and there's no garbage- don't feel disheartened, odds are good you will find it by opening the left side. You pretty much have a 50/50 chance of finding the garbage, without asking for help. Imagine how cool you will look throwing away your own garbage without having to request a map and set of instructions...Actually don't even imagine- think of Ryan Gosling. That's how cool you will look... maybe not as sexy, but just as cool!

I understand that OCCASIONALLY people keep their garbage in a standalone container on the fringes of the kitchen. This is when you score 0-2 on the under-the-sink kitchen cupboard check. Always disheartening, but at this point you have free range to ask your host where their garbage is. Don't worry, I'm sure they get asked all the time. They should probably have a sign at the kitchen sink that says "don't even bother looking- the garbage is over there --->".

Stupid Question 2.
Scenario: You have asked someone to take a picture of you and your friends.

Dummy: Which button do I press?
Average Person: The top right hand button.

Why do we do this? The button to snap a photo is on the top right hand side of nearly every camera. It's the spot where your right hand index finger naturally falls when holding a camera, ready to take a picture. Someone could hand you a camera and with your eyes closed you could probably guess which button it was from where your finger naturally sits. The clever inventors have made it idiot proof. Stop being an idiot- stop asking which button it is. Maybe it's a fancy dancy camera that has a million buttons. The button will STILL be on the top right hand side. It will probably be a circle. It will probably be screaming your name. If you aren't a hundred percent sure, press the button and see if it takes a picture. These days, it's not like your wasting film. Just guess. You will probably be right. If you are wrong and don't know what to do- don't panic, you can then ask for help. If I were you, I'd throw in a giggle and a twirl of the hair. Then maybe you will seem cute and dumb, instead of just plain old retarded.

I hope we all learned something today.

Good luck and god speed. xo shelly.

Vacation Sads

Post Vacation Depression Syndrome. I can’t say 100 percent if it is an official syndrome or not as Wikipedia doesn’t have an official page on it. Not going to lie, it irked me real bad that there was no sure fire go-to source for my self-diagnosis attempts. I did find a few web pages with references to the Vacation Sads as I like to call them, but they sucked. One guy referred to it as the ‘f**k I have to go back to work’ disorder- that was about the only interesting thing I gleaned from my research.

I was in Cabo San Lucas over Christmas and New Years for 16 glorious days with family and friends. We spent most of our time at the beach sun tanning, playing and drinking. I think i partook in every activity imaginable (except ATVing of course)- from scuba diving to beer drinking contests, Mexican massages to Fine Italian Dining. We had a million laughs and I have about a thousand bruises from various UMPIs (unidentified Mexican party injuries).

Half way through the trip our friends had to go and the family and I suffered from a bit of sadness to see them leave. Lucky we are young and forgetful, within a day we were back at it- KT and Jay who!?

The last couple of the days of our trip it hit us like a ton of bricks that we had to leave soon. The sadness started there. It crept in like fog in the night. Slowly slowly. We banned talk of going home, yet it was impossible not to think of our return.

Arriving home was, as expected, dismal. Gray skies, leftover Christmas decorations, an unwelcoming kitty and the pending Back to Work Monday all added to my case of Vacation Sads.

Realizing that I no longer could get up early and go for a run down to the marina to a beautiful sunrise over the ocean; or have a baileys and coffee for breakfast and then a sangria for snack time; or sit on the beach listening to the DJ play all our favourite songs (by request) while sun tanning and buying unnecessary things like bandanas, puppy puppets or hand-made mexican pottery all added to my Sads. Back at home with nothing fun to do and the ball and chain of work and a mortgage fresh on my mind makes for a Super Sad Shelly.

Thinking back, I know I experienced the Sads from my previous travel excursions- I think I was Sad from my four month trip to Asia for at least two months. I don’t remember doing anything productive following that trip, unless you count watching food network and 80’s work out tapes productive. I guess I’ll get over it. I don’t really want to. I want to be back in the sun, living the dream. Viva la fiesta!

ChristmasTime

December 20th, some people are just getting their Christmas baking and shopping started. Some people have just gotten their trees decorated and lights up. Five whole days until Christmas. There's tons of time for rum and eggnog (RumNog, if you will). Plenty of time to listen to Christmas music. Days and days to get yourself into that holiday spirit, to fatten up on all the christmas goodies and wish everyone a Merry Christmas...that is, if you are not going to Mexico for the holidays.

Someone going to Mexico for Christmas is taking down their Christmas tree today, which they have had up since November 24th in order to savor it in all its glory. That someone has already amassed an impressive list of baked goods this holiday season (gingerbread, shortbread, fudge, caramel popcorn, snowball cookies). She has bought, wrapped and gifted her Christmas presents. She has listened to the Michael Buble Christmas CD sixteen million times in her flannel reindeer Christmas pajamas. She has had a full out family dinner with turkey and all the trimmings that was one of the best yet. She has watched Home Alone and the Shrek Christmas movie. This girl refused to miss out on the magic that is Christmas.

That girl is me. I am that girl. I think i have gotten all my requisite xmas acitivies in but i still feel a sadness about not being home for Christmas. Do not get me wrong- I am super duper excited to be leaving to Mexico for the holidays. I can not wait to lay in the sun and do absolutely nothing of any importance. i can't wait to go diving and sport fishing (i hope we don't catch anything) and adventuring. I am stoked to be spending two weeks with my family and best friend. I just feel sad about breaking tradition. I did it once before and it kind of tore a hole in my heart.

Merry Christmas everyone. I hope your holidays are filled with cheer (RumNogs).

If you see Santa- send him my way. I forgot to leave a forwarding address. I sure hope he got me that Polly Pocket I've been asking for, for the last 8 years.

Book Sads.

A couple of weeks ago my massage therapist suggested I read a non-fiction series called The Hunger Games. I nodded and smiled but am not usually one to hunt down books. On a whim I asked around at work if anyone had heard of it- Wendy piped up and said Yes, she bought it for her boys- who are pre-teens. It briefly crossed my mind that it was kind of pathetic to be reading the same books as an 11 year old, however that was quickly forgotten when she agreed to lend them to me.
 
Once I started the book I couldn't seem to put the book down. It was both captivating and slightly disturbing. Every second I wasn't reading it I was thinking about the story and what might happen next. I didn't have to wait long. I finished the first book in two days.
 
I immediately started reading the second book and devoured it nearly as quickly as I did the first book. I was rather surprised at the twists and turns in the story, none of my predictions for book two came true. I didn’t find the second book to be as interesting as the first, but that’s to be expected- the novelty of a new story had already worn off. Don’t get me wrong, at this point I was dying to read the third book.

I asked around and the third book (Mockingjay) was elusive. After a week I managed to borrow a copy. When I reached the half way point of the book I started another book on the side. It’s not like I was cheating on the Hunger Game series, but I just wanted to delay the story Now that I was almost near the end I couldn’t bear for it to be over. What if I didn’t like the ending? What if the main character died? I spent the next week hanging on to the book, reading a few pages here and there, devouring every word, savoring every scene. I finally got to the end of the book and I felt so relieved to finally find out how the story ends. I was pleased with the way the author wrapped everything up in a conclusive ending, a nice tidy package.

Two minutes after that I felt sad. Lost even. My mind had nowhere farther to wander with the story. All the loose ends had neatly been tied up, the characters were done with me. I had what I call a case of the Book Sads. It’s not an official medical term (yet) but the symptoms are feelings of loss and abandonment, intense nostalgia and depression. This happens every time I get into a series. It’s like a drug. You get high off the adventure and then come crashing down when it’s over. The only thing that tides you over is the hope you will soon stumble upon a new, even better series.

It’s been three whole days since I finished the Hunger Games and I’m beginning to feel better. Lucky for me, the series have been translated into film and are coming to theaters in March. I will be starting a countdown shortly.

Project: Refurbished Dresser

 I was feeling kind of handy and energetic so I stole an old dresser from my parent's house and decided to refinish it. Here is the dresser before I had my way with it:

I gave it a light sanding as it had been previously varnished. Sanding is the reason I don't do projects like this often. If i ever have kids i will punish them by giving them furniture to sand. I was quite happy to sand off this little flowery design, what an eye sore.

After sanding I used a candle to wax the edges so that I could scrape the paint off some places later to give it a vintage look. Then I slapped two coats of primer on it.... slapped is not really an appropriate term- I put the primer on with love and care. Priming is a very important step.

Supervisor Watson kept an eye on me during my project. After the primer had dried I put on two coats of white paint. What kind of white paint you ask? The only kind i had in my house i reply. Ceiling paint!

The drawer pulls were originally brass or something that looks like brass. I primed them in hopes they would look okay white. They did not. I painted them dark gray after that and they looked even worse.The drawer pulls are a non standard size so at this time they have been replaced with ribbon until such time as I find a pull that measures 4 1/4".

Luckily the top drawers are just knobs so I replaced them with adorable crystal ones.

Lastly I scraped up the edges to give it a vintagey look. The polyurethane turned the stark white paint into a subtler white that looks worn and was begging to be distressed. This total project cost under $30- 10 for the knobs and 20 for the polyurethane. Here's what I ended up with:

Cute right?