A Case of the Grumps

The Michelle Health Organization (MHO for short) reports that there's been a case of the grumps going around lately. This organization, which is neither very organized nor very healthy, would like to help you diagnose yourself. Not sure if you are suffering from the grumps? Here's a few things that might be a tip off:

• People leave the room when you walk in because they dread being around you and your bad attitude (badittude, if you will).
• You spend extended periods of time wallowing in self-loathing and, alternatively, self-pity.
• The usual good mood-inspiring things do not even bring a semi smile to your face. An adorable puppy in a cute outfit makes you roll your eyes instead of the normal giggle and clap.
• Even eating delicious treats do not make you happy.

Now, drinking excessively may seem like a good idea to dull the pain of your grumptastic mood, but it will not help. Let me repeat: Do Not try to drink the grumps away. It is cause for disaster and you will then be hungover AND grumpy. Please do not fret though, I have some helpful suggestions (that worked for me) to bring you back to Happy Land.

1. You need to go overboard on the things that make you happy. For me, it's baking. This weekend I baked a batch of deliciously low fat cookies, chocolate mousse (not technically baking, but still counts) and mini chocolate cupcakes with peppermint chocolate icing. The delicious end results, combined with the pleasure it brought to those who devoured the treats nearly pulled me out my funk. [see below for photos]
2. Exercise. Again, I suggest going overboard. Get out and work your butt off doing whatever it is you do to stay in shape. Yesterday I spent an hour at the gym and then hit the track with my iPod on the loudest it could go. By the time I was done, I was so frozen, deaf, hungry and tired that I had no room to be grumpy. Pure bliss.
3. Shopping therapy. Simple. Go out and buy things. You don't need to spend a million dollars, feel free to hit the dollar store, walmart or even go to the grocery store and hit the bulk bins real hard. Don't get me wrong, if you have the money and the inclination to make a big purchase, by all means do so. A new TV or car would certainly make your grumps disappear twice or even three times as fast.
4. Go tanning. I hear the WHO (world health organisation- who is actually a real organisation, unlike the MHO) declared tanning a carcinogenic, so maybe this option isn't for everyone...but if you aren't opposed to tanning and your skin could use some colour- jump on in to your nearest cancer box. Not only will you feel better because you will look prettier- you will feel better from that dose of vitamin D that you can only get from the sun, which we probably won't seeing much of for the next few months.
5. If you have completed suggestions 1-4 and are still feeling down then you have no choice but to go to Disney Land. It is the happiest place on earth. If a dose of the magic kingdom, mickey mouse and frozen lemonade can't cure you then you are pretty much out of luck. You can try repeating the above steps, perhaps in reverse order, but unfortunately and most likely, you will need to move onto #5.
6. Strong meds are officially in order. Prozak or some other anti-depressant. It will make you feel like you are living your life in a hazy cloud, not to mention the long list of negative side effects, but hey, it will likely kill the grumps. Murder at its finest. Visit a doctor near you for treatment.

Wishing you all a grump-free afternoon. Good day to you.