So Stampede was dismal. I can't believe we drove 12 hours for that!
PSYCHE.
So good! Quick synapses for those of you who hate reading: Fried pickles, mini donuts, Martina McBride, prizes and rides, Dean Brody, a sunny river float, Sandra Bullock movie marathon, Sara's special (but not funny special) oatmeal pancakes, Rocky Mountains and the usual rounds of fist pumping madness.
We left Surrey Wednesday night and drove to the Iggulden's cabin on little shu. Breakfasted and hit the road by 930 (as per usual, half an hour later than planned). Some town we hit a rockin diner where we ate some delicious food and Sara and I consumed a beer, hence disallowing us as taking over driving duties. Money move. Hit some terrible construction and a semi truck accident that slowed the pace dramatically. NBD though. We spent the next hour ooohing and ahhing over the mountains and then did a pit stop at Lake Louise. Infested with tourists, but what a beautiful spot. Took advantage of the photo op and bathroom and drove straight through (minus a liqor run)to Calgary.
Sara's aunt (Doris) and cousin (Amanda) were amazing enough to let us crash at their place right outside of downtown- we basically highjacked the basement and our belongings threw up all over the place as per usual. Nikita and I, on a breakfast run, stopped at a super amazing farmer's market where we paid exorbitant prices for BC fruit. It's silly because we thought after Kamloops we would have numerous fruit (and possibly Dariy) stands to stop by to pick up the goods we required. Wrong. Post Kamloops is stand-less.
Amanda and her girlfriend Jewels took us out to a bar that had a couple of live bands playing and a Suicide Blonde competition ( i will let your imagination run wild on that one). It was interesting. A lot of beer was consumed trying to make it all make sense. I've never seen That many girls in one place with That many tattoos.
Shopping and lunching and napping and movies took up Saturday.
Sunday was a huge family (and friends) breakfast of oatmeal pancakes and french toast with berries and warmed syrup (Best). Followed by a visit to Jewel's house and a hunt for ice and then a hunt for the elbow river [a lengthy two hours combined]. Got the boats in the river (Sara and I in a boat) and after some precarious sitting positions we straightened our lives out and got to floating and drinking. Calling the whole event floating seems a bit misleading as there were a handful of rapids, as well as rocks, that needed manuevering. We had a bit of an episode with Sara donating her Popcorn flavoured Rice Cakes to the ducks of the river. Unfortunately, they called their duck and geese friends who stalked us down the river menancingly. All fun in games until shelly gets attacked by a duck (luckily didn't happen). Finally (as my bladder was on it's last legs) we got out of the river and made a spectacle of ourselves in teh safeway parking lot, half naked, deflating our boats. Dressed and ready to go we hit the Stampede for martina. Amazing concert. Nikita caught a free t-shirt pre-show (highest jump EVER!). Martina sang all her hits to perfection and came back for an encore where she sang Summer of 69 and... oh geez i forget, but it was another rock and roll song. Wicked ending. From here we got a great deal on ride tickets and convinced all the attendants to let us in free or 4 for 1. It was amazing. We also played a zillion games and Sara won a zillion teddy bears- whcih was awesome until Nik won a leopard print giant bouncy ball.... Hit the sack at 1:30 and were up at 5:30 to hit the road home. Boo. worst.
Stopped for timmys and powered through to Shuswap were we stopped for a quick wakeboard, seadoo ride, tan and lunch- then on to home. Overall I'd say we Stampeded the shit out of that weekend. Just sayin.
I'd like to leave you with a little something special. It's a shelly original. Please note that every line is subject to change.
It's just Franklin and Sara
No time for Shelly.
Just Franklin and Sara
It's unbearable.
Nikita, Alanna-
No, no it's sara.
Just Franklin and Sara.
No time for Shelly.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Things I've Learned - Houseboating Edition
It's time for another round of "things i've learned lately", brought to you by our special sponsor: Houseboating.
357. Bringing an extra 40 pounder of vodka "just in case" is a terribly great idea.
358. Sharing a batch of cupcakes is admirable but hoarding that same batch is scandously delicious.
359. Everyone thinks i'm a lesbian, thanks to JZ (who by the way is Fired).
360. Nutella on smores
361. Never trust that someone will hold up/down an anchor rope for you. This may result in rope lash.
362. Play on Matt's team for Beer Bong.
363. Don't play on Matt's steam for Brisbee.
364. Don't drink mojitos for Brisbee, especially when playing against seasoned Saskatchewan veterans.
365. Vegetarians aren't so bad.
366. Cheese smokies are delicious and are worth the potential greasy cheese face burn. Side note: always let nikita score your smokie to prevent said burn.
367. People may be worried about you when you 'go missing', get a stunt double for those cases.
368. Never say No to a proffered sleeping pill. Sidenote: think twice about saying Yes to other proffered pilles.
369. Two guys, a girl and a houseboat size queen bed will result in extreme morning grumpiness. Find other sleeping arrangements.
370. Those who fall asleep early will likely get T-bagged and/or wrote on with markers. Continue to never be one of those people.
371. The sun WILL come out. be patient and ready with tanning oil.
357. Bringing an extra 40 pounder of vodka "just in case" is a terribly great idea.
358. Sharing a batch of cupcakes is admirable but hoarding that same batch is scandously delicious.
359. Everyone thinks i'm a lesbian, thanks to JZ (who by the way is Fired).
360. Nutella on smores
361. Never trust that someone will hold up/down an anchor rope for you. This may result in rope lash.
362. Play on Matt's team for Beer Bong.
363. Don't play on Matt's steam for Brisbee.
364. Don't drink mojitos for Brisbee, especially when playing against seasoned Saskatchewan veterans.
365. Vegetarians aren't so bad.
366. Cheese smokies are delicious and are worth the potential greasy cheese face burn. Side note: always let nikita score your smokie to prevent said burn.
367. People may be worried about you when you 'go missing', get a stunt double for those cases.
368. Never say No to a proffered sleeping pill. Sidenote: think twice about saying Yes to other proffered pilles.
369. Two guys, a girl and a houseboat size queen bed will result in extreme morning grumpiness. Find other sleeping arrangements.
370. Those who fall asleep early will likely get T-bagged and/or wrote on with markers. Continue to never be one of those people.
371. The sun WILL come out. be patient and ready with tanning oil.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
lottoMAX
We have a work pool going this week for the 50jillion dollar lottery draw. Let’s count my chickens before they hatch, shall we? I think it’s split between 10 people, so that would be 5 million each. After I collect my winnings on Friday the first thing I would do is drive over to TD and pay off my mortgage. I now have 4,825,000 left to spend.
I would order a slave (I would call her my assistant to sound politically correct) from Thailand and have her put out an ad to rent my condo. I would then have Carol start the search for some new digs. (I would probably pay her realtor fees this time instead of having them donated to me). Note to carol, am looking for a mansion of a house (large but not obnoxiously so), with a sprawling yard with a pool and lots of gardens and perhaps a maze. My garage would be need the capacity to hold the following: a boat, atvs, seadoos and perhaps a snowmobile or two (we will need lessons). What kind of car should I buy? I think I’d start with a Porsche. Something fast and pretty. I realize I’ve missed a rather important spending opportunity, clothes. I think I would need help here. A personal shopper to come along I suppose?
Next I’d have the Asst (let’s call her June) call up all my friends and inform them that I am now rich and awesome and to pack their bags because we are going on shelly-funded a trip. I think we would start off the trip with a quick jaunt to Vegas. I think, for old times’ sake, we would still stay at Imperial Palace. We would get a room facing the strip, however. Next maybe a trip down to old south America. On the plane ride over we could do a quick study of the Lonely Planet SA guide to decide what’s worth visiting. Once our tans were perfect and we had exhausted the awesomeness of SA we could jump over to Europe for some culture and shopping. I think first stop would be Italy for pizza, wine and gelato and, of course, Italians. Drool. Not sure if everyone’s still available, I reckon this has been a long trip so far, but from here I’d like to do round two of Asia. Some river tubing, bucket drinking, full moon partying and some tailor made clothes. Obviously during this trip I’m open to suggestions. Clearly not the planner of the group. I hadn’t thought about it very hard but I think I will leave June at home (in Canada) to look after my mansion. She’d be kind of a tag along on the trip which may be annoying.
Don’t worry I know you think I’m going to spend ALL my money, but fear not I am putting the majority of it in [name high interest savings account here]. Nikita, you are officially hired as my financial advisor. Make my money make me more money please. Manda, you are officially hired to do my taxes (note: I will pay you this time). I’m thinking that I’d like to own my own business. It would probably involve food. Make a deli/sangwichshop slash cupcakery. With wine. lol. it would obviously called All Shelly All The Time. You could get a turkey, pesto and cranberry sandwich on 12 grain bread served with a bowl of daily soup [it would most certainly be a tomato based soup on most days] and a cupcake (of your choice of course) and a chocolate milk (for those who so choose). Vegegreens and phytoberry shakes would also be on the menu.
Ps. manda you can have my civic if you want. Consider it the best birthday present ever. sometimes you gotta let me drive it again though.
I would order a slave (I would call her my assistant to sound politically correct) from Thailand and have her put out an ad to rent my condo. I would then have Carol start the search for some new digs. (I would probably pay her realtor fees this time instead of having them donated to me). Note to carol, am looking for a mansion of a house (large but not obnoxiously so), with a sprawling yard with a pool and lots of gardens and perhaps a maze. My garage would be need the capacity to hold the following: a boat, atvs, seadoos and perhaps a snowmobile or two (we will need lessons). What kind of car should I buy? I think I’d start with a Porsche. Something fast and pretty. I realize I’ve missed a rather important spending opportunity, clothes. I think I would need help here. A personal shopper to come along I suppose?
Next I’d have the Asst (let’s call her June) call up all my friends and inform them that I am now rich and awesome and to pack their bags because we are going on shelly-funded a trip. I think we would start off the trip with a quick jaunt to Vegas. I think, for old times’ sake, we would still stay at Imperial Palace. We would get a room facing the strip, however. Next maybe a trip down to old south America. On the plane ride over we could do a quick study of the Lonely Planet SA guide to decide what’s worth visiting. Once our tans were perfect and we had exhausted the awesomeness of SA we could jump over to Europe for some culture and shopping. I think first stop would be Italy for pizza, wine and gelato and, of course, Italians. Drool. Not sure if everyone’s still available, I reckon this has been a long trip so far, but from here I’d like to do round two of Asia. Some river tubing, bucket drinking, full moon partying and some tailor made clothes. Obviously during this trip I’m open to suggestions. Clearly not the planner of the group. I hadn’t thought about it very hard but I think I will leave June at home (in Canada) to look after my mansion. She’d be kind of a tag along on the trip which may be annoying.
Don’t worry I know you think I’m going to spend ALL my money, but fear not I am putting the majority of it in [name high interest savings account here]. Nikita, you are officially hired as my financial advisor. Make my money make me more money please. Manda, you are officially hired to do my taxes (note: I will pay you this time). I’m thinking that I’d like to own my own business. It would probably involve food. Make a deli/sangwichshop slash cupcakery. With wine. lol. it would obviously called All Shelly All The Time. You could get a turkey, pesto and cranberry sandwich on 12 grain bread served with a bowl of daily soup [it would most certainly be a tomato based soup on most days] and a cupcake (of your choice of course) and a chocolate milk (for those who so choose). Vegegreens and phytoberry shakes would also be on the menu.
Ps. manda you can have my civic if you want. Consider it the best birthday present ever. sometimes you gotta let me drive it again though.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
diez vistas at buntzen lake
'diez vistas' translation: 10 views
'diez vistas'alternate translation: one mother of a hike
Wendy, Ki and I showed the diez vistas Who's the Boss. Lucky for us Tony Danza was nowhere in sight. Crazy amounts of uphill sections of rocky, rooty, rough terrain that is not white running shoe friendly. We were rewarded with beautiful views of the Indian Arm throughout the hike. Lucky for us the trail was marked with orange markers and we only got off course once- nbd, we didn't end up in Revelstoke or anything. A few trips and slips we all had but am proud to say there was no falls or death to speak of. The calves and quads were screaming for many a mile. About two and a half hours of the Diez and we reached the Power House road which is a BC hydro access road that after a while brought us to a jog as it started to rain like retarded. Finally we hit south beach, had a pee and hit the final trail home. Ignoring the screaming muscles and pending blisters we took it at a run, only to stop about two k in for snack time. This is also where i passed nikita one of the backpacks to slow her down as she was hauling ass and winding WW and I. Peanut butter protein bars and water in tummies 1, 2 and 3 and we are off at a sprint. The final lag is mostly downhill with easy to navigate terrain and pretty little bridges and is basically a treat to run. We killed it and made it to the parking lot in twenty minutes, doing the total hike/run in 3 1/2 hours. WW decided we should rename nik to Mountain Girl. I tried to work out some lyrics to a song, but they are still pending creative editing. Hike rating: tough, but wicked and worth it.
Here's the low down:
Diez Vistas Trail at Buntzen Lake
Hiking time: 6–8 hours return. Distance: 7 km (one way). Elevation gain: 460 m.
This route is recommended for experienced and fit hikers only. Spanish for "ten views", the Diez Vistas Trail is aptly named. Offering spectacular views of Vancouver's waterways and mountains, the Diez Vistas Trail commences near the floating bridge. Travelling uphill into the forest, cross the powerline and pipeline and continue along a series of switchbacks until the trail forks. The left trail leads to a viewpoint overlooking Indian Arm and the right leads to a view of South Beach and across to Eagle Ridge. After reaching the high point where the trails reunite, you travel along a forest trail that terminates at a BC Hydro service road. Keep right and follow the service road and transmission line (the Old Buntzen Lake Trail) back to the Buntzen Lake Trail, where a left turn will take you to the suspension bridge leading to North Beach. From here, follow either Powerhouse Road or the Buntzen Lake Trail back to South Beach.
http://www.bchydro.com/etc/medialib/internet/documents/community/pdf/buntzen_lake_trails.Par.0001.File.BCH09_002_Buntzen_lake_09.pdf
'diez vistas'alternate translation: one mother of a hike
Wendy, Ki and I showed the diez vistas Who's the Boss. Lucky for us Tony Danza was nowhere in sight. Crazy amounts of uphill sections of rocky, rooty, rough terrain that is not white running shoe friendly. We were rewarded with beautiful views of the Indian Arm throughout the hike. Lucky for us the trail was marked with orange markers and we only got off course once- nbd, we didn't end up in Revelstoke or anything. A few trips and slips we all had but am proud to say there was no falls or death to speak of. The calves and quads were screaming for many a mile. About two and a half hours of the Diez and we reached the Power House road which is a BC hydro access road that after a while brought us to a jog as it started to rain like retarded. Finally we hit south beach, had a pee and hit the final trail home. Ignoring the screaming muscles and pending blisters we took it at a run, only to stop about two k in for snack time. This is also where i passed nikita one of the backpacks to slow her down as she was hauling ass and winding WW and I. Peanut butter protein bars and water in tummies 1, 2 and 3 and we are off at a sprint. The final lag is mostly downhill with easy to navigate terrain and pretty little bridges and is basically a treat to run. We killed it and made it to the parking lot in twenty minutes, doing the total hike/run in 3 1/2 hours. WW decided we should rename nik to Mountain Girl. I tried to work out some lyrics to a song, but they are still pending creative editing. Hike rating: tough, but wicked and worth it.
Here's the low down:
Diez Vistas Trail at Buntzen Lake
Hiking time: 6–8 hours return. Distance: 7 km (one way). Elevation gain: 460 m.
This route is recommended for experienced and fit hikers only. Spanish for "ten views", the Diez Vistas Trail is aptly named. Offering spectacular views of Vancouver's waterways and mountains, the Diez Vistas Trail commences near the floating bridge. Travelling uphill into the forest, cross the powerline and pipeline and continue along a series of switchbacks until the trail forks. The left trail leads to a viewpoint overlooking Indian Arm and the right leads to a view of South Beach and across to Eagle Ridge. After reaching the high point where the trails reunite, you travel along a forest trail that terminates at a BC Hydro service road. Keep right and follow the service road and transmission line (the Old Buntzen Lake Trail) back to the Buntzen Lake Trail, where a left turn will take you to the suspension bridge leading to North Beach. From here, follow either Powerhouse Road or the Buntzen Lake Trail back to South Beach.
http://www.bchydro.com/etc/medialib/internet/documents/community/pdf/buntzen_lake_trails.Par.0001.File.BCH09_002_Buntzen_lake_09.pdf
Friday, June 4, 2010
joke.of.the.week.
A woman gave birth to twins that she could not keep. One was sent to Iraq and named Amahl, the other was sent to Mexico and named Juan.
Many years later, the woman received a letter in the mail from her son Juan about how well he was doing, complete with a picture. The woman loved this letter and made a huge fuss over it.
A week later, she gets the same type of letter from her other son, but she merely smiled and tossed it aside.
When asked why she did not fuss about this one, she merely said..."If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amahl."
Many years later, the woman received a letter in the mail from her son Juan about how well he was doing, complete with a picture. The woman loved this letter and made a huge fuss over it.
A week later, she gets the same type of letter from her other son, but she merely smiled and tossed it aside.
When asked why she did not fuss about this one, she merely said..."If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amahl."
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Kulua Airline
Kulula Air a low-fare South African airline. It operates domestic services to all major cities in South Africa plus regional services to Namibia, Mauritius and Zimbabwe.
Its main base is Tambo International Airport, Johannesburg. Headquarters are near Tambo in the Bonaero Park area of Kempton Park, Ekurhuleni, Gauteng.
The Kukulula.com fleet consists of the following aircraft:
1- Boeing 737-200
3- Boeing 737-400
1- Boeing 737-800
This is a real South African airline, and the planes are really painted like this …
Its main base is Tambo International Airport, Johannesburg. Headquarters are near Tambo in the Bonaero Park area of Kempton Park, Ekurhuleni, Gauteng.
The Kukulula.com fleet consists of the following aircraft:
1- Boeing 737-200
3- Boeing 737-400
1- Boeing 737-800
This is a real South African airline, and the planes are really painted like this …
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
guys like girls with [brownie] skills
One of my goals as Suzy Homemaker is to cut the sugar, fat and calories in any and all recipes I try. Unfortunately, this often is to the detriment of a treat's taste. Don't get me wrong, i'm not settling for mediocrity, i am constantly searching for appropriate substitutions and healthier ingredients that will increase the Tasty Factor. I might be 'counting my chickens before they hatch' on this one as i haven't taste tested yet, but fuck it. the smell in condoMe is tantalizing. there is no way my brownies could be anything but delicious.
Part 1. PURPLE people-eater PUREE
3 cups of raw spinach purreed with 1 1/2 cups of blueberries (i had to buy dried blueberries and reconstitute them because PriceMart was out of both their frozen AND fresh varieties. Google informed me that reconstituting berries is NBD and a perfect sub for fresh/frozen. I am undecided.) Anyhow, furiously blend the stuff together with some blueberry water and lemon juice and you get this sick looking purpley puree that is rather delicious.
Part 2. Flour Blend
Equal parts white flour, whole wheat flour and un-sweetened wheat germ ( i think i messed up on the wheat germ and got oat germ instead. A germ's a germ though, right?) Add in too much cinamon, instant coffee, cocoa powder and a shake of salt.
PArt 3. Melt chocoalte with butter and lick spoon. mix with purple mess. add eggs, vanilla and less sugar than asked for. Then mix Flour Blend into it. Don't be shocked how little dry ingredients there are, this is probably a good thing,
Put in oven at 350 for 30minutes and lick all utensils and bowls clean.
i am having a bit of a moral dilemma in regards to the frosting though. i have some left over chocolate cream cheese icing in the fridge that would top them to chocoaltey perfection, while quadrupling the calorie count. sigh. I just found a recipe that calls for a cream cheese frosting which is then topped with a chocolate glaze. a bit ridiculous, but so is Reese's Pieces for dinner. what do i care?
credit to www.thesneakychef.com
Saturday, May 29, 2010
a running litany
get it? a running litany. i came up with that brilliant play on words this morning during my jog. i was talking to katie about running and she said she always has the best runs when she has lots on her mind. sometimes that happens with me, but i usually spend thirty seconds on a problem, mentally rock, paper, scissors for the solution and get on with my life. today i decided i would do some thinking on my run. so here's where the running litany comes in... lucky ducks, you get a peak into what goes on in this pretty little head of mine. [WARNING: this may not be suitable for all readers, please turn back now if you are any of the following: judgemental, squeamish, not in a pro-shelly mood or if you don't wanna hear any fart jokes.]
after twenty jumping jacks in my lobby (i have decided they are an acceptable pre run warm-up)i throw on the ipod stop watch, choose genre "Unknown" on my ipod (for the first time ever) and head out. Within the first two blocks i have come up with a brilliant idea of where to put my key (which is attached to a hair elastic that i normally put around my wrist/arm- but it cuts off my circulation). my hair! i will tie it around my ponytail, the only problem with this is that i can't see the key which gave me fits about thirteen times during my run. but the circulation in my left arm has never been better! totally worth it. running south up 200th i see a banana peel and carefully dodge it. i used to think that the banana peel gag in cartoons was some kind of myth, that was until i accidentally stepped on one in the hallway at school and ALMOST died. slippery indeed. i have no problem with littering organic matter, i am the first to throw an apple core out a car window (it's practically a sport), however, i would never EVER throw a banana peel where someone may step and slip on it. i think that's a true testament to my character. anyhow, if you can believe it, i see THREE more banana peels littering the sidewalk in the next five blocks. who the f is doing this i ponder? At this point i am around 44th ave, so have only gone a few kms and haven't decided the extent of my run yet. i get a bit of a second wind after hill number 1 and 2 (the only up-hill sections i have to face on my long runs) so i decide i will push it and plan to do a long run. I spend the next three kms mulling over boys and end up getting a side stitch so give that up in a hurry. at 28th ave i discover there is a diner called Race Trac, it smells like bacon. i almost die. mental note to drag someone there with me in near future. right after the diner is a pub called something silly but it looks totally adorable, second mental note to drag someone there, perhaps for a post-diner drink. or perhaps not. anyhow the pub reminded me that tonight is fight night and i pondered what we should do. to the casino with lisa and her gang or to southpoint with bobby,etc. and then some country song came on that mentioned whiskey and i got a hankering for a whiskey sour, which i quickly turned into an amaretto sour, because whiskey makes me mean slash cry my eyes out. and then i remembered the fight me and lisa got into last week which resulted in tears and a reminder that she still has my pink frisbee. then i look up and see i am coming up to 18th ave. i do some rough calculations and figure this would make it around a 16 k run, so i jubilantly cross the street. two ladies are just walking by and i yell "woo i'm on the way home!" they laughed and i picked up the pace ... for about a minute and then i realised my stomach was starting to churn. uh oh i think. gurgle gurgle my stomach says. i slow the pace and ponder the story i heard about a woman who won a marathon with shit running down her leg because she lost control of her bowels. note to self: never be that woman... i'm concernicus (dane cook joke reference) at this point, but then it 'passes'. lol, pun. and i'm fine and running again. then Fancy by Reba McEntire began playing (which is one of lisa's favorite songs) and i NTS'd i should tell her she shoudl name her first girl FAncy. "i might have been born plain white trash, but Fancy was my name". the white trash line reminded me of last night when mom and i went out to abbotsford to see cousin Nicole off to her prom. she looked really super pretty. hair, makeup and dress were all really good. only downer was she was wearing flats (not that you could see them, but come on). anyhow, one of her little friends yells 'hey nicky, what's that on your back?" so i turn her around and move her hair and there's a fucking tattoo. :O is the face i make. Carol and Uncle Stu, "WHAT?"., uhm. screaming and arguing ensue between stu and nicky and then carol and i break it up and tell them it's not the time or place. Then i bring up the fact that uncle stuart has a billion tattoos and he's being rather ridiculous about it. Plus hers is in good taste in a spot that isn't visible and it's a fuckin religious tattoo. God save us all or something. ... no, praise the lord? ugh, i forget. anyhow, it was pleasant saying in a nice little handwritten script.. then i recall the convo at dinner about how nicole was SO lucky he found out then where he couldn't really get mad at her, which reminded me of mom how SHE found out about Lisa's tattoo. for those of you who don't know, carol discovered the tattoo while lisa was laying in a mexican hospital with a broken back after her atv'ing accident. what can you possibly say at a time like that? here i am back at 40th ave and am feeling some stiffness in my knees. i work on my form a bit. straighten the back, drop the shoulders and correct my arms so they are pumping parallel to my body. I get a face full of wet leaves and curse the homeowners slash City who don't keep their trees trimmed. I shouldn't have to worry about losing an eye from a branch that is rudely protruding onto public property. britney spears makes an appearance on my playlist. i'm pumped. and then i recall the buntzen lake run/hike we are planning on doing tomorrow with wendy and co. i shudder and think up a million excuses to get out of it. then i convince myself i should do it and then i mentally RPS for it. we tied best out of three. lol yeah u can tie at best out of three when you play against yourself. i will decide on the hike later. Running towards me i see blond lady in blue jacket (as i like to call her). i see this lady running every morning on my way to work and am kind of in her fan club. I quickly put on my Not Tired At All Face and correct my form again and smile and say good morning. she is shorter than i thought she was. Down hill number 1 i go, this is hte steeper one that goes alongside the bmx park. i have a secret longing to rip up that bmx park, but my fear of broken limbs has and will continue to hold me back. down hill n umber two i go and the home stretch is upon me. i ignorantly run across the street without using a crosswalk and head east down michaud crescent. i always pick the pace up on this street in case i see any of my neighbours. i don't want to appear sluggish. nothing worse than a sluggish appearance. lol ew. so many slugs on my run too. i always envision stepping on them for fun just to see them squirt, but then i feel bad. side note, i ran over an ALREADY DEAD squirrel the other morning and almost vomited. i make it to the condo and after a brief panic attack remember the key is in my hair so i whip it out, let myself in and stop the timer- 1 hour thirty minutes. i strip off the soggy gear and grab a football jersey which is my newly preferred lounging gear and have a delicious chocolate protein shake. aka my favorite part of my running routine. i go online to map my run and see it was a tidy little 15.6 kilometers. proud? yeah kinda. lml.
kisses.
View my Soggy Saturday Run
after twenty jumping jacks in my lobby (i have decided they are an acceptable pre run warm-up)i throw on the ipod stop watch, choose genre "Unknown" on my ipod (for the first time ever) and head out. Within the first two blocks i have come up with a brilliant idea of where to put my key (which is attached to a hair elastic that i normally put around my wrist/arm- but it cuts off my circulation). my hair! i will tie it around my ponytail, the only problem with this is that i can't see the key which gave me fits about thirteen times during my run. but the circulation in my left arm has never been better! totally worth it. running south up 200th i see a banana peel and carefully dodge it. i used to think that the banana peel gag in cartoons was some kind of myth, that was until i accidentally stepped on one in the hallway at school and ALMOST died. slippery indeed. i have no problem with littering organic matter, i am the first to throw an apple core out a car window (it's practically a sport), however, i would never EVER throw a banana peel where someone may step and slip on it. i think that's a true testament to my character. anyhow, if you can believe it, i see THREE more banana peels littering the sidewalk in the next five blocks. who the f is doing this i ponder? At this point i am around 44th ave, so have only gone a few kms and haven't decided the extent of my run yet. i get a bit of a second wind after hill number 1 and 2 (the only up-hill sections i have to face on my long runs) so i decide i will push it and plan to do a long run. I spend the next three kms mulling over boys and end up getting a side stitch so give that up in a hurry. at 28th ave i discover there is a diner called Race Trac, it smells like bacon. i almost die. mental note to drag someone there with me in near future. right after the diner is a pub called something silly but it looks totally adorable, second mental note to drag someone there, perhaps for a post-diner drink. or perhaps not. anyhow the pub reminded me that tonight is fight night and i pondered what we should do. to the casino with lisa and her gang or to southpoint with bobby,etc. and then some country song came on that mentioned whiskey and i got a hankering for a whiskey sour, which i quickly turned into an amaretto sour, because whiskey makes me mean slash cry my eyes out. and then i remembered the fight me and lisa got into last week which resulted in tears and a reminder that she still has my pink frisbee. then i look up and see i am coming up to 18th ave. i do some rough calculations and figure this would make it around a 16 k run, so i jubilantly cross the street. two ladies are just walking by and i yell "woo i'm on the way home!" they laughed and i picked up the pace ... for about a minute and then i realised my stomach was starting to churn. uh oh i think. gurgle gurgle my stomach says. i slow the pace and ponder the story i heard about a woman who won a marathon with shit running down her leg because she lost control of her bowels. note to self: never be that woman... i'm concernicus (dane cook joke reference) at this point, but then it 'passes'. lol, pun. and i'm fine and running again. then Fancy by Reba McEntire began playing (which is one of lisa's favorite songs) and i NTS'd i should tell her she shoudl name her first girl FAncy. "i might have been born plain white trash, but Fancy was my name". the white trash line reminded me of last night when mom and i went out to abbotsford to see cousin Nicole off to her prom. she looked really super pretty. hair, makeup and dress were all really good. only downer was she was wearing flats (not that you could see them, but come on). anyhow, one of her little friends yells 'hey nicky, what's that on your back?" so i turn her around and move her hair and there's a fucking tattoo. :O is the face i make. Carol and Uncle Stu, "WHAT?"., uhm. screaming and arguing ensue between stu and nicky and then carol and i break it up and tell them it's not the time or place. Then i bring up the fact that uncle stuart has a billion tattoos and he's being rather ridiculous about it. Plus hers is in good taste in a spot that isn't visible and it's a fuckin religious tattoo. God save us all or something. ... no, praise the lord? ugh, i forget. anyhow, it was pleasant saying in a nice little handwritten script.. then i recall the convo at dinner about how nicole was SO lucky he found out then where he couldn't really get mad at her, which reminded me of mom how SHE found out about Lisa's tattoo. for those of you who don't know, carol discovered the tattoo while lisa was laying in a mexican hospital with a broken back after her atv'ing accident. what can you possibly say at a time like that? here i am back at 40th ave and am feeling some stiffness in my knees. i work on my form a bit. straighten the back, drop the shoulders and correct my arms so they are pumping parallel to my body. I get a face full of wet leaves and curse the homeowners slash City who don't keep their trees trimmed. I shouldn't have to worry about losing an eye from a branch that is rudely protruding onto public property. britney spears makes an appearance on my playlist. i'm pumped. and then i recall the buntzen lake run/hike we are planning on doing tomorrow with wendy and co. i shudder and think up a million excuses to get out of it. then i convince myself i should do it and then i mentally RPS for it. we tied best out of three. lol yeah u can tie at best out of three when you play against yourself. i will decide on the hike later. Running towards me i see blond lady in blue jacket (as i like to call her). i see this lady running every morning on my way to work and am kind of in her fan club. I quickly put on my Not Tired At All Face and correct my form again and smile and say good morning. she is shorter than i thought she was. Down hill number 1 i go, this is hte steeper one that goes alongside the bmx park. i have a secret longing to rip up that bmx park, but my fear of broken limbs has and will continue to hold me back. down hill n umber two i go and the home stretch is upon me. i ignorantly run across the street without using a crosswalk and head east down michaud crescent. i always pick the pace up on this street in case i see any of my neighbours. i don't want to appear sluggish. nothing worse than a sluggish appearance. lol ew. so many slugs on my run too. i always envision stepping on them for fun just to see them squirt, but then i feel bad. side note, i ran over an ALREADY DEAD squirrel the other morning and almost vomited. i make it to the condo and after a brief panic attack remember the key is in my hair so i whip it out, let myself in and stop the timer- 1 hour thirty minutes. i strip off the soggy gear and grab a football jersey which is my newly preferred lounging gear and have a delicious chocolate protein shake. aka my favorite part of my running routine. i go online to map my run and see it was a tidy little 15.6 kilometers. proud? yeah kinda. lml.
kisses.
View my Soggy Saturday Run
Friday, May 28, 2010
Cookin' with Jack
scouring the internet this afternoon at work for entertainment and unfortunately couldn't find anythign interesting on forkliftaction.com so i clicked on over to cracked.com becuase they never let me down....
The Jack Daniels website includes a curious section that features recipes, in an apparent attempt to kill people by including their oak-soaked gasoline in every facet of every meal. However, to the great dismay of boozehounds and aspiring Topic page writers everywhere, many of the recipes featured don't actually include Jack Daniels as an ingredient. If nothing else, we here at Cracked take pride in our ability to correct other people, so we will adjust one of the recipes off the Jack Daniels site to include the Old No. 7. To save time, we will type the recipe up in real time as we prepare it.
APPLE CRISP COFFEE CAKE (CRACKED REVISION)
Drink a shot of Jack. Chop one cup of pecans. Core, peel, and dice 2 Granny Smith or Golden Delicious apples. Soak in 1/4 cup of Jack to prevent browning.
Drink a shot of Jack. Preheat oven. In a 9 inch baking pan, combine pecans with 3/4 cup flower, 3/4 cup colored sugar, butter, one stick of cimanon, and 1-4 tablespoons of salt. Combine with fork.
Drink Jack shot. preheat oven, cake is 2 cups, sugar, liqid butter 1 cup, 1 thing sour cream, 3 eggs beaten whole, vanilla, and apples jack
Jack shott mix and pour caje in pan. jack sho.t cook pan in box for owww use mits and cook pan in box. top with jack drink jack
bake as yo contemplste yourr life .Jack. crry/./ sleepon sopfa unrtil donn e
Wake up several hours later to the sound of the smoke alarm. Put out fire in oven with fire extinguisher. Locate aspirin.
Needs more whiskey...
Read more: Jack Daniels | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/funny-3077-jack-daniels/#ixzz0pGQzd1Er
The Jack Daniels website includes a curious section that features recipes, in an apparent attempt to kill people by including their oak-soaked gasoline in every facet of every meal. However, to the great dismay of boozehounds and aspiring Topic page writers everywhere, many of the recipes featured don't actually include Jack Daniels as an ingredient. If nothing else, we here at Cracked take pride in our ability to correct other people, so we will adjust one of the recipes off the Jack Daniels site to include the Old No. 7. To save time, we will type the recipe up in real time as we prepare it.
APPLE CRISP COFFEE CAKE (CRACKED REVISION)
Drink a shot of Jack. Chop one cup of pecans. Core, peel, and dice 2 Granny Smith or Golden Delicious apples. Soak in 1/4 cup of Jack to prevent browning.
Drink a shot of Jack. Preheat oven. In a 9 inch baking pan, combine pecans with 3/4 cup flower, 3/4 cup colored sugar, butter, one stick of cimanon, and 1-4 tablespoons of salt. Combine with fork.
Drink Jack shot. preheat oven, cake is 2 cups, sugar, liqid butter 1 cup, 1 thing sour cream, 3 eggs beaten whole, vanilla, and apples jack
Jack shott mix and pour caje in pan. jack sho.t cook pan in box for owww use mits and cook pan in box. top with jack drink jack
bake as yo contemplste yourr life .Jack. crry/./ sleepon sopfa unrtil donn e
Wake up several hours later to the sound of the smoke alarm. Put out fire in oven with fire extinguisher. Locate aspirin.
Needs more whiskey...
Read more: Jack Daniels | Cracked.com http://www.cracked.com/funny-3077-jack-daniels/#ixzz0pGQzd1Er
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
lessons learned
Listy McListerson would like to present another (you guessed it...) list! this is one i've been compiling in my pea brain for the last six months or so. Since i can't think of anything catchy because my head is full of fluff I will be calling it "things i've learned thus far in 2010". it's kind of strange becuase i recall turning 21 and coming to the conclusion that i basically knew everything i needed to know to scrape along. the kicker was The Move Out. Let's list, shall we?
1. mommy knows best (Except when she doesn't). I have a complex where my mom will tell me how to do something and for whatever reason i assume i have a better way to do it. this is rarely accurate. we have this joke in my house about carol never being wrong. i can think of about three exceptions to that rule, from my entire life. we won't delve into them, i think that would be extremely unkind. re-cap of point one: need help or advice? ask mom. (if she can't help she will find someone who can) xo mommykins.
2. projects are harder than they look...everytime, without exception. whatever my project time estimate is, i've learned to add at least three days minimum. Eg., re-finishing dresser..hmm i'd guess it at about 6 hours (shelly calculation: 3days 6 hours and fifty callouses).
3. the fridge doesn't fill itself. the laundry doesn't wash OR dry itself. the dishwasher won't empty itself. the floors won't magically be clean just becuase you hate vacuuming. (ONE OTHER THING I LEARNED THIS WEEKEND WAS THAT VACUUM HAS TWO U's, growing up with auto spell check has certainly made me a doofus)
4.staying home sick is not even worth it if there's nobody home to take care of and fuss over you.
5. that living without the following things on hand is downright idiotic: a plunger, a flat, star, square and cross screwdriver, pliers, a wrench, flashlight, duct tape, matches, chocolate and bandaids.
6. house insurance is a must. disasters in my life are inevitable.
7. the more wine on hand, the better.
8. Not having cable makes my condo, in general, an undesireable place to hang out.
9. that i love spending time with me the most.
let's move on to un-condo related things. i didn't really mean to sort it into condo and non condo things, but i got carried away and i'm too exhausted to edit.
10. really good socks are a really special thing. they even come labelled left foot and right foot. if you haven't been there done that, please do so.
11. that my friends are all really strong, amazing people who make my life a shinier place.
12. golf is trickier than it looks.
13. me&ed's pizza trumps all.
14. that, no matter how old you are, when you fall- the first instinct is to burst into tears and call your mommy. #14 part 2, that scabs, no matter how old you are, are fun to pick.
15. vegegreen and phytoberry is slowly making me into a superhero. or maybe just super human. i don't know if i aspire to hero, sounds like a lot of work.
i am late for a very important date... [name that quote]
oh one other thing i learned: that seeing a movie by yourself isn't as humiliating as it seems. buttery popcorn basically cures all.
1. mommy knows best (Except when she doesn't). I have a complex where my mom will tell me how to do something and for whatever reason i assume i have a better way to do it. this is rarely accurate. we have this joke in my house about carol never being wrong. i can think of about three exceptions to that rule, from my entire life. we won't delve into them, i think that would be extremely unkind. re-cap of point one: need help or advice? ask mom. (if she can't help she will find someone who can) xo mommykins.
2. projects are harder than they look...everytime, without exception. whatever my project time estimate is, i've learned to add at least three days minimum. Eg., re-finishing dresser..hmm i'd guess it at about 6 hours (shelly calculation: 3days 6 hours and fifty callouses).
3. the fridge doesn't fill itself. the laundry doesn't wash OR dry itself. the dishwasher won't empty itself. the floors won't magically be clean just becuase you hate vacuuming. (ONE OTHER THING I LEARNED THIS WEEKEND WAS THAT VACUUM HAS TWO U's, growing up with auto spell check has certainly made me a doofus)
4.staying home sick is not even worth it if there's nobody home to take care of and fuss over you.
5. that living without the following things on hand is downright idiotic: a plunger, a flat, star, square and cross screwdriver, pliers, a wrench, flashlight, duct tape, matches, chocolate and bandaids.
6. house insurance is a must. disasters in my life are inevitable.
7. the more wine on hand, the better.
8. Not having cable makes my condo, in general, an undesireable place to hang out.
9. that i love spending time with me the most.
let's move on to un-condo related things. i didn't really mean to sort it into condo and non condo things, but i got carried away and i'm too exhausted to edit.
10. really good socks are a really special thing. they even come labelled left foot and right foot. if you haven't been there done that, please do so.
11. that my friends are all really strong, amazing people who make my life a shinier place.
12. golf is trickier than it looks.
13. me&ed's pizza trumps all.
14. that, no matter how old you are, when you fall- the first instinct is to burst into tears and call your mommy. #14 part 2, that scabs, no matter how old you are, are fun to pick.
15. vegegreen and phytoberry is slowly making me into a superhero. or maybe just super human. i don't know if i aspire to hero, sounds like a lot of work.
i am late for a very important date... [name that quote]
oh one other thing i learned: that seeing a movie by yourself isn't as humiliating as it seems. buttery popcorn basically cures all.
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