MOH Speech

My sister is officially a married woman, I now have a brother-in-law! I also officially have the worst hangover ever (totally worth it though).

The wedding was a beautiful, amazing, fun and touching event. The entire weekend was great- starting with a rehearsal dinner BBQ on Friday, followed by a spa day in North Van with the girls and a dinner with the crew on Saturday. The Big Day was Sunday which started at the crack of dawn with a run to Starbucks, followed by hair and makeup, snacks and champagne and then it was time for the ceremony. Amanda was absolutely beautiful in her dress and the bridal party as a group was stunning. The reception was so much fun and, as maid of honor, I was required to do a speech, which I have been fretting over for the last 8 months. When it was time for me to speak, I had made my peace with my nerves (for the most part) and pulled it off nicely (if I do say so myself). Here's the rough outline of what I spoke about:

Hi. For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Michelle- I’m the Maid of Honour. Amanda is my twin sister and my best friend; I’ve known her my whole life.

I was one of the last people to know that Manda and Jason had gotten engaged. The weekend Jason proposed, I was off camping in the middle of nowhere, of course with no cell service. When I got back to town I had 56 thousand messages and 100 missed calls. I honestly thought someone had died. When I finally found out the good news, I immediately wrote a blog about why I should be her Maid of Honour. In the blog I totally slandered my friends and fellow bridesmaids which probably makes me a bad person. It must have been pretty convincing because here I am, doing my maid of honor speech.

Amanda gave me a laundry list of things I wasn’t allowed to talk about in my speech, so I am NOT going to say anything about her favorite stuffed animal, Mr. Corn Head, who is essentially an ear of corn with a face-which is super creepy. There are a few other things that I am absolutely not going to mention...(looked over to Manda to share a conspiratory glance- received a death stare in return)

So since I can't talk about any of that fun stuff, instead I’d like to tell you why I love my sister. I’ve managed to wheedle the list down to 5 things, so here they are, in no particular order.

1. She is the best person to go on car rides with, for a few reasons: she’s a great car dancer; she knows all the words to every Sugarland song; she’s really good at air guitar, air drums and sometimes even the air fiddle; and best of all she’s usually doing all this WHILE driving, which is kind of scary, but mostly impressive.

2. She is always up to share a diet coke or diet root beer, no matter what. Yes, this is a very important best friend quality in my books.

3. She is the dollar store queen and is almost always able to tell me which dollar store I need to go to find a certain thing. For those of you who don't know, Amanda actually planned and decorated the entire venue which I think we can all agree looks absolutely beautiful, so let's give her a round of applause for that. Some of this beautiful decor has come from the dollar store...but I won't tell you which parts!

4. Other than my dad, she has the best tanning technique out of anyone I know.Arms up, arms down, flip over, etc- it is quite the process! They should have their own YouTube video and a million people would probably watch it and they would be famous.

5. And lastly, she lets me hold her hand when we are walking, even though I know she sometimes doesn’t want to. I started off with swinging my hand 'accidently' into hers and then clasping her hand. At first it didn't go over so well, but she's warmed up to it and will now pretty much hold my hand any time which is quite lovely.
OK so that’s it for my list. I don’t think those are necessarily the same reasons why Jason loves Amanda, as I know he doesn’t drink diet coke-which is weird- and rarely hits the dollar store - also weird- but I have seen him car dance, although it's not a pretty sight (insert awkward fist pumping action).
I guess the last thing I want to say is that I’m so happy for you guys and love you both and wish you many years of happiness. I’m super stoked to finally have a brother and I think my sister made a pretty great choice in you Jay. If everyone could please raise their glasses in a toast to Manda and Jay.

-Insert wild applause and cheering here-

Michelle of Honor?

This weekend my lovely sister, Amanda, got engaged to my favorite brother-in-law-to-be, Jason! Very exciting. I might have peed a little when I found out. He picked a beautiful ring and proposed on a lovely, romantic weekend. He told us that he had the ring hidden in his tshirt drawer for the last three months. I am more than shocked that manda didn't find it! She's pretty snooptastic.

The wedding planning has commenced with a vengeance. Venues are being researched, the invite list has been made, the dress shopping date set and the bridesmaids and grooms have been selected, although the best man and maid of honor have not been announced yet.

I have great designs on the position of number one bridesmaid, aka Maid of Honor. I was born to do it- stand  around and look pretty, hold flowers and plan a stagette, pfft it's got my name written all over it. Mich the MOH! Its got a nice ring to it, eh?  How could my Twin sister choose anyone but me for that role? We were womb buddies for gods sake! How can the other bridesmaids even compete? Gifts maybe... That's the only way I feel I can lose this MOH race! Not that it is a race, it's a privilege and honor, second to none.

I just know deep in my heart that nobody could MOH my manda like I could. I will MOH the heck out of this wedding! Minus the speech part... I'll blow that for sure!

Let me introduce the bridesmaids (my competition) and their potential MOH winning characteristics:

Lisa- sister, but not a twin. Their sisterly bond has recently been strengthened through a summer of car pooling. She has recent experience being a MOH, potentially giving her seniority.
Sam- Amanda's best friend since elementary school. Knows a good chunk of her deep dark secrets which Sam could use to threaten manda for MOH status. She is a lot nicer to Amanda than I am, is super hot and could beat me to a pulp if she wanted to be the MOH. Also, she made Amanda her first born son's god mother. Amanda kind of owes her.
KT, Jess and Nikita- sorry, but not a chance in the MOH running. No blood relation and Sam has more dirt on manda than all three of you combined. If any of you three get asked to be MOH I am requesting you politely decline and throw in a good word for me. Don't worry, I can send you a list of my positive attributes if you want to keep them on file.

I don't know when manda's announcing who the lucky girl is going to be. I'm kind of hoping it's not super soon so that I have lots of time to practice an acceptance speech. Also, with some extra time I can remind manda how much fun and how perfect I am for the job! Patience is a virtue I do not posess, the anticipation is killing me.

MOH me already!!!