Like, uhm... like, y'know!

The other day Simon from work brought up "non words". A non-word is something you say when speaking outloud (usually unconsicously). It is, most often, gramatically incorrect and, even more often than that, makes you sound like a moron. Some examples of non words are "Uhmm", "ya know" or "like". I googled it for a better understanding and here's what Miriam-Webster has to say:

Definition of NONWORD: a word that has no meaning, is not known to exist, or is disapproved. First Known Use of NONWORD: 1961.

Unfortunately they didn't mention what the first ever Non word was. It was probably something silly though, like "Ack".

In our training programs we teach Instructors to notice their own non-words and to try to keep them to a minimum. Shortly after bringing up this non-word topic, Simon mentioned at his last program he used ME as his example... HIS BAD EXAMPLE! I'm pretty sure he did an impression of me using a high squeaky Valley Girl voice. "Like, uhmmm like y'know" is probably along the lines of how it went. He probably did a fake hair toss and giggled as well. The class then asked if I was a teenager and he revealed that no, I am a full blown adult (lol, apparently). He then proceeded to liken me to his twelve year old niece. Safe to say I was rather mortified and immediately made a sheet where I could mark down how many times I said "like" in a day. Three minutes later I forgot all about my new crusade. Three minutes after that Simon mentions that I had said "like" 7 times in the last paragraph I spoke. Insert blush face here

Goal renewed. I must nip this non word problem in the bud! I must, I must! Plan of action- think before I speak. Less rambling and a more consicous speech tactic. I am asking that anyone who may hear me say "like" in an innappropriate manner politely let me know. I promise not to be too offended by the correction. If I am unsuccessful in this plan of action, my Plan B involves a speech therapist. I am pretty sure it is covered under our extended medical. Maybe they can make my squeaky voice a little less squeaktastic while they're at it!

two wheelin' fool

Hey, remember when I fell off my bike and broke both my arms? That was fun {insert straight face here}. My main bike riding goal is to NOT do that again. My secondary goals are as follows:

1. To be super ridiculous cheetah speed fast.
2. To not quiver in fear every time i encounter a hill (up or downhill).
3. To acquire an amazing biking outfit (think Lance Armstrong).
4. To be able to bike to work at least once a week and arrive in a timely, non sweaty fashion.

Story time. My bike search ended abruptly yesterday after work. I had officially decided it was time to add bike to my life. A whirlwind tour of Capps, SportMart and SportChek left me dazed and confused, but nonetheless determined. 300 questions and 3 hours later I met Blue Lightning. Him and I and Snazzy White Helmet got loaded up into the car, with the help of Kevin the Salesman, and rode off into the sunset.

Back at the ranch, I got all geared up and then spent twenty minutes trying to fit the non fitting helmet onto my head. {insert lightbulb above head here} THE INSTRUCTIONS! After reading those and cursing for five more minutes the helmet had made it securely onto my head. You can't even imagine how ravishing i looked at this point.

Then it was time to put the front tire back on the bike....no sweat right? wrong. the front brakes are now rubbing on the rim. La de da, sitting in lobby messing with bike. Friendly neighbour comes to the rescue and helps me put it all back together The Right Way (note to self, do things The Right Way first time to avoid lengthy swearing episodes). I jump on my bike and wobble down the street.

Stopped by Uncle Ron's to show off my new ride. What'd you get that for? he asked. Idunno, i replied. I think he was mad that i didn't bring a loaf of banana bread with me.

then I began to ride. Tooker up my usual route down 200th (on the sidewalk of course). The occasional pedestrian and fellow biker were very courteous and usually let me have the right-of-way. I think this is because they saw the terrified expression on my face. I ran over two banana peels to no incident. I got some road riding in on the back streets and headed home when my butt could take it no more. My rudimentary distance calculator in my noggin says i did about 12km.

Guys, meet my new friend Blue Lightning...