houseboating 2012, if i had it my way

I was going to recap the house boating trip but as there are already a thousand pictures on facebook that tell a better and more complete story (as there are large holes in my memory bank from this weekend) I decided that I will look to the future instead.

Title: House Boating 2012
Subtitle: IF I had it My Way

Thursday morning we meet in Langley and there is a private jet waiting to take us (and the wake setter of course) to Sicamous. The flight over is short, only long enough to listen to whatever song LMAFO has out this summer and to do a round of shots. We arrive at Waterways and the aussis load all our shit onto the boat and take us immediately through the canal. We are pleased to find the rooms have all been upgraded to King Sized beds, each with their own en suite. The rooms are soundproof. Someone notices there are a couple of stow aways on the boat- no, its not Adam from Twin Anchors- the randoms turn out to be a Mute Midget Chef who moonlights as a fire dancer and a female Thai Masseuse. We decide to keep them. The no randoms rule has been eased up on this year.

An hour or so into the night John and Nick climb a tree and fall onto the midget as he's fire dancing, amazingly nobody is hurt and the partying continues well into the night. Nobody passes out early and, hence, nobody gets Tbagged. Greg cooks up fifty boxes of KD and gourmets it up with extra cheesy baked deliciousness. We all back chew it- all of the flavor, none of the calories.

We awake to MidgetMan cooking a gourmet breakfast of bacon, eggs, waffles and coffee. No hangovers, we're all feeling great. We spend the day tanning and drinking, boating and floating. The girls win a round of flip cups and then beer pong. Mini chef cooks up a feast for dinner, we don our theme costumes and the party's on. The hot tub gets foamed, the fire gets lit and all surrounding boats flock to our beach to partake in an insane round of Ultimate Strip Limbo. A bear comes out of the woods to join the party- he let's us dress him in tight and bright and eventually ends up passed out in the hot tub.

I don't want to spoil the whole trip, so I'll leave the third night as a total surprise. Let me assure you that the Thai Masseuse sees to it that House boating 2012 and everyone there has a Happy Ending.