I would order a slave (I would call her my assistant to sound politically correct) from Thailand and have her put out an ad to rent my condo. I would then have Carol start the search for some new digs. (I would probably pay her realtor fees this time instead of having them donated to me). Note to carol, am looking for a mansion of a house (large but not obnoxiously so), with a sprawling yard with a pool and lots of gardens and perhaps a maze. My garage would be need the capacity to hold the following: a boat, atvs, seadoos and perhaps a snowmobile or two (we will need lessons). What kind of car should I buy? I think I’d start with a Porsche. Something fast and pretty. I realize I’ve missed a rather important spending opportunity, clothes. I think I would need help here. A personal shopper to come along I suppose?
Next I’d have the Asst (let’s call her June) call up all my friends and inform them that I am now rich and awesome and to pack their bags because we are going on shelly-funded a trip. I think we would start off the trip with a quick jaunt to Vegas. I think, for old times’ sake, we would still stay at Imperial Palace. We would get a room facing the strip, however. Next maybe a trip down to old south America. On the plane ride over we could do a quick study of the Lonely Planet SA guide to decide what’s worth visiting. Once our tans were perfect and we had exhausted the awesomeness of SA we could jump over to Europe for some culture and shopping. I think first stop would be Italy for pizza, wine and gelato and, of course, Italians. Drool. Not sure if everyone’s still available, I reckon this has been a long trip so far, but from here I’d like to do round two of Asia. Some river tubing, bucket drinking, full moon partying and some tailor made clothes. Obviously during this trip I’m open to suggestions. Clearly not the planner of the group. I hadn’t thought about it very hard but I think I will leave June at home (in Canada) to look after my mansion. She’d be kind of a tag along on the trip which may be annoying.
Don’t worry I know you think I’m going to spend ALL my money, but fear not I am putting the majority of it in [name high interest savings account here]. Nikita, you are officially hired as my financial advisor. Make my money make me more money please. Manda, you are officially hired to do my taxes (note: I will pay you this time). I’m thinking that I’d like to own my own business. It would probably involve food. Make a deli/sangwichshop slash cupcakery. With wine. lol. it would obviously called All Shelly All The Time. You could get a turkey, pesto and cranberry sandwich on 12 grain bread served with a bowl of daily soup [it would most certainly be a tomato based soup on most days] and a cupcake (of your choice of course) and a chocolate milk (for those who so choose). Vegegreens and phytoberry shakes would also be on the menu.
Ps. manda you can have my civic if you want. Consider it the best birthday present ever. sometimes you gotta let me drive it again though.
